Can you get infected from the virus on your computer?

Once, at my shop, I stood with my register open, counting a fistful of 50-dollar notes in my hand, when a woman came up and asked me if I worked there. I looked at her, then at the money, then at the open cash drawer, and said, 'Nah, mate. I'm just robbing the till.'

*On arrival at a new school* Girl - So, where are you from? Me - Nigeria Girl - Where's that? Me - It's a country in Africa Girl - No, Africa is a country Me - I'm sure it's a continent Girl - No, Nigeria must be a town in Africa Another girl - He must be confused

I was working in the emergency department when I received this call from a frantic mother: 'My toddler just drank out of the dog's water bowl! What should I do?' I told her: 'Give the dog some more water.'

One of my aunts asked about what I do, so I told her that after completing my electronics engineering degree, I started working in a chip-designing company. After a pause, she asked: 'What are your most popular flavors? Are the chips as good as Lay's?'

'Do you have internet in Indonesia?' — and it was asked by email

A true story from a forgotten backwater of Donegal: "Hey, Graeme, are you coming to church on Sunday?" "No, I'm an atheist." "It's ok. Being a Protestant doesn't matter. We're very welcoming." "I'm not a Protestant, I'm an atheist." "Are you Jewish?" "No, I'm not Jewish, I'm an atheist." "What do you mean?" "An atheist is someone who doesn't believe in gods." "No it isn't." "It kinda is." "No you're wrong there, you can be an atheist and believe in God." Me: stunned silence.

How come chicken breasts don't have nipples?

My sister was adopted from Korea. She was only about 10 weeks old — an almost newborn infant — when she came home to us. Several people asked me at the time, 'So does she speak Korean?' or 'Does she have an accent?'

When I worked at Disney world one summer I was asked this question at least 10 times every day:"when is the 6 pm parade" I learned to smile and politely say,"6pm"

What is the correct spelling... Iran or Iraq?

I got onto an elevator on the fifth floor, which already had people who had boarded on the sixth floor. I pressed the button for the third floor and observed that the button for the second floor was also pressed. As soon as the third floor came and I started to get out, a girl piped up, 'Why, that's so unfair. I got into the elevator before her! Shouldn't I be dropped off first?'

As an Australian traveling overseas, I've been asked: 'Do you carry a stick everywhere you go to fight off the snakes?' 'Oh, you're from Australia? Do you know my niece in New Zealand?' and 'How many miles is it from where you live to Sydney? No, not miles, liters. How many liters is it?' And when someone I met in a foreign country found out I was Australian, she said, 'Why don't you sound like Hulk Hogan?' I didn't know how to react to this because I had no idea why she would think I would sound like The Hulkster. I was wracking my brain trying to work out what had connected me to the former World Heavyweight champion. Finally, I said, 'Why do you think I should sound like Hulk Hogan?' She said, 'Because he's such a famous Aussie.' We then had a brief argument about the nationality of Hulk Hogan. You may have already made the connection, but it took me ages to realize she was talking about Paul Hogan, aka Crocodile Dundee

I can remember being asked by a close friend at the time, "How can you be so nice when you don't believe in God?"

A teacher, soon after I arrived in the US: 'How long have you been here?' Me: 'A week.' Teacher: 'How did you learn English so fast?!'

My friend, upon seeing a Jaguar car: 'So now PUMA has started manufacturing cars, too?'

Girl: OMG, are you a muslim? Me: Yes Girl: that's cool, can you say something in muslim?

Shopkeeper: 'I will get you a 30% discount on this.' My friend: 'If I buy two, I will get it at 60% off, right?'

Getting into the elevator on the 6th floor of a 6 floor building.... Them: "Going down?" Me: "No, I plan to shoot right out of the roof! Wanna join me?" We both had a good laugh and it was said with a smile.

When I was a waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings, a woman once asked, 'What part of the buffalo do the Buffalo wings come from?'

After telling a friend I am a psychology major, she said, 'Great. Can you tell me what I'm thinking right now?'

When I told a girl that I have a twin, she asked, 'So, do you, like, have the same birthday?'

Answering a call at my home: Me: Hello? Friend: Hey dude, where are you? Me: At pizza hut, I took the landline with me....

A lady in Japan: "Do Indians have a shower in their houses or do you bathe in the Ganges everyday?"

Do you have planes in your country? Nope I rowed from half way across the world.

While visiting Vietnam: "Look, that's the moon. Do you have it back in France?"

As I'm Greek, I've been asked, 'So...do you believe in Greek gods like Zeus and stuff?'

Idiot: Your name is "Roses?" Like the flowers? Me: No, as in "Guns n'."

This friend of mine said, 'I don't think I'd understand Fantastic 4. I haven't seen Fantastic 1, 2, and 3.'

I wasn't asked this but, I overheard this in a bus, in Vancouver. Guy - I've been to India, twice! Girl - That's so cool. Where? Guy - Tibet and Nepal.

I had a student email me to ask how to convert years into centuries

My friend after watching Batman Begins... " Dude, who is this Gotham they keep talking about all the time ? "

'So will the website you build for us work on Internet explorer and Godzilla both?'

This one, I have to admit, I'm guilty of asking a coworker a few years ago: 'What date is Cinco de Mayo?'